Yesterday I was driving on the open road in the 100 degree heat with my windows and sunroof open, radio blasting, my hair blowing in the wind, sunshine on my face, and a profound sense of freedom to be me. It was at this moment I truly realized it does not matter what anyone else thinks about my choices as long as they are authentic and speak truly and uniquely to me.
This came after a significant amount of recent contemplation on having the gumption and audacity to embrace myself regardless of what others around me should happen to think about it. Maybe, it is because of several amazing women who have, almost by magic it seems, appeared in my life.
Lindsay, Michelle, and
Kristi are so much themselves you can't help but be taken by them. They are each so different from one another, but what they have in common is acceptance and love of themselves. They are brilliantly, gloriously, and perfectly themselves. I find their rawness and realness to be empowering and spending time with each of them this weekend has made me realize that maybe I have not given myself enough space to find Chandra. I know my essence and my passion... but do I truly listen to myself?
I'm sure you know what I am talking about. This little voice that whispers to you and says strange things like, "Get out of your car, go sit in the middle of a corn field and just be. OR Sell all the contents of your apartment... you don't need all that stuff anyways. OR... just go ahead and move to the beach, you'll figure it out when you get there."
I know on a intuitive level it is best not to ignore these promptings, but my mind always finds a way to talk me out of acting on them. I believe this is because I live in a world that is overflowing with paradigms and ideas of what and how things should be. On some level I have always been prone to not adhering to these paradigms, but I still find myself teetering on an edge, with them (the paradigms) on one side and my authentic self on the other. I have now reached a tipping point and the norm is holding much less value than the importance of acknowledging and trusting my promptings. Every fiber of my being is now buzzing with the importance of this task. It can not be brushed off any longer....this is imperative.
When I got home yesterday I wrote this to myself on a sticky note:
TAKE YOUR SPACE. FIND CHANDRA.
And that's just what I'm going to do.
If you get the chance, check out this
interview with Lady Gaga. I felt so much emotion (and maybe even shed a tear ;) when I watched this, purely because her authenticity beams from her. I found this link at
Jeanette Maw's Good Vibe Blog, which you should also swing by and see.
Lastly, I retweeted this yesterday and it is so true:
Be true to who you are and honor your joy. What others think you should do has nothing to do with your path to joy.
Peace & Love,
Chandra Nicole
Many times we arrive at a place in our lives where, despite everything we have been trying to do to create happiness, we can feel deep down in our souls a discontent. And for one reason or another we can't seem to gain enough clarity to know what to do about it.
